Episode 25 - Not All Friends Are Created Equal

Friendships—they can be our biggest source of joy… or drama. 😅 In this episode, we’re talking all about the role of friendships in our lives: the ones that lifted us up, the ones that faded away, and the hilarious (sometimes messy) stories in between. From childhood besties to adult friendships and learning when to let go, we’re keeping it honest and unfiltered.

Because at the end of the day, friendships shape who we are—and sometimes teach us the hardest (and funniest) lessons.

🎧 Tune in now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen for real talk and a few laughs.

💬 What’s the funniest or most unforgettable thing a friend has ever done for you? Share it with us!
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Transcript

You're listening to unfiltered us, where we keep it real and unscripted. I'm your host, Susie, along with my husband, Miguel. Ready to dive in? Let's get started. All right. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to our newest episode. It's going to be a good one. Honestly, today is going to be an interesting one. And we're testing out a new way of recording this. So it should be a good. You can see both of us now. You can see both of us now. So that's kind of scary. I like it better. I feel you like that better. This wire just fell off. All right. I think we're good. Okay. Perfect. So what are we talking about today, babe? We're talking about friendships, okay? Different types of friendships. This is going to be a hard one to swallow for some people. Okay, we're going to be on filter, so I'm just gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna say it like it is. Do you have bad friendships? Is that what you're. I just don't know if I have any friendships. Oh, gosh. I mean, okay, so you gotta, I, I guess the word. See, the way I see it is, and I see it different today than I did in the past. Okay, but the word friendship. Is a big word. It's a word that has been thrown around for years. Um, so much. And I think that a lot of people today call themselves friends, but they don't quite fit the definition of what a friend really is. You know, you say it's more like an acquaintance. I have a lot of acquaintances. Yes, I do, I have a lot of acquaintances. I, I, I used to I feel like I used to have a ton of friendships. Um, but throughout the years, people kind of show their true colors, if that makes sense. It does. And, you know, they just kind of fall off that friendship definition, if that makes sense. Okay. Well, let's go through the different types of yeah, yeah. Let's start. Let's start with that because I did I do have my phone because I ChatGPT like the different types of friendships just to see maybe if I forgot one. And obviously the one on top of the list is your right or die like your best friend right when you. Tell everything to like. There's not really any secrets that you could be straightforward with each other, right? Like, you're your best, best friend. So that's. Would you say that's the one that fits all the boxes? Yes. Okay. Uh, but you see, I feel like you don't have one. Okay, I. So there you go. I don't I don't have one, but you do have boxes. Great friends that you talk to all the time. Do you feel like not one of them is your best friend? Uh, they're good friends. I wouldn't want to call them best friends, you know, because there are things that either I have. I haven't told them personally or they haven't told me personally, you know? And and I feel like. And I don't know who you're talking about, but I do have some good friends. You don't know who I'm talking about. I think I do, I think I do, I think I do, but okay. But they're, they're good friends that you can. Kind of tell some things, but not everything, if that makes sense. Okay. Okay. Um. And there are and and that's why I'm saying they're they're good friends. They're very, very close acquaintances. But as far as a friend, I mean, to me, I don't know such a big word. And again, I used to be the person that said, yeah, I have a really best friend, you know, and and I just don't think they, they, they kind of uncheck themselves off those boxes. But. Okay, let's go back to your ride or die or let's talk about what is some of the things that that person does or needs to do to stay there. I mean, I don't know, see, and that's the thing. And that was like almost my next follow up question to you. Do you feel like, um, at one point you had a best friend and you just kind of fell off? Yeah. And is that normal, would you say? I don't know if it's normal, but it's more common now. I think what happens is two things. Okay. What happens is. You outgrow them. If that makes sense. Okay. Maybe because I think I feel like I've had best friends that I've grown out. Yeah, yeah. So maybe at one point in it again. Don't don't take. I don't want people to listen to this, to think that somehow, somewhere, we are better than other people. Because I think we're all humans, right? No, I don't take it like that. But what I'm saying is, maybe at one point when your awareness was not there, when you used to do things that you don't do anymore, and maybe you fit with kind of like where they were or maybe where they still are today. And you get to a point in your life where you grow your awareness, your self improve, you start thinking different. You start, in a sense, almost acting different because you kind of, you know, you you evolve from the person you used to be into a new person, right? You mature a little bit. And I don't want to say you get older, but you do get wiser and you start looking at life a little bit different than what you used to. And when this other person that was at one point your very best friend or your very close friend doesn't do the same thing that you do. You start growing apart. And I don't know if this people out of, um, jealousy because sometimes that happens. You know, the fact that you are doing better in life and you are outgrowing them. They start doing things. Okay. But see, I'm going to kind of cut you off there because I kind of feel if they were your best friend, they should never be jealous towards you. Okay. So that's that. Okay. Great question. I agree with you 100% I agree. You're and I posted a TikTok about this a couple of days ago that when you call yourself a true friend, you gotta be happy for that person regardless, regardless of what that person does in life, right? Especially especially when it's for the better benefit of themselves and their family. You gotta celebrate your friend's successes. Yeah, okay. And I. Let me tell you something. I honestly, the reason why I say that I don't have. True friends anymore, or real friends or best friends anymore. It's because I feel as a friend I checked those boxes for them. Like, I am really happy when other people start doing better for themselves, but I don't feel like I get that back. And that's why, I mean, going back to what I said, when you start outgrowing themselves, they start showing their true colors and they started unchecking those things down inside. That was always just like a really close hater, right? Yeah. Well, because, you know, friend. Yeah. Because you were the same as them. So you've never had a friend that you feel that you just, uh, I don't want to say grew apart, maybe even grew apart, but, like, in a good way. Like, because I have friends that were my best friends before and I could see them today, and there's no ill like. No, I do like they were. The reason we separated as best friend wasn't anything that had to do with jealousy or anything like that. It was just. I'm not saying that it was jealousy. I'm just saying that maybe that could be a factor. It could be, but I just. I was just reiterating what you said. Like I said, in my particular personal situation, I don't know if it was jealousy because I know I can't I can't say for sure that that's what it was. But that does happen sometimes in real life with people. But I do have those people that at one point we were very, very close and best friends that, you know, maybe I don't see as often. Right. But when I do, we have a good time, we hang out, we're nice to each other. And, you know, I mean, there's a lot of them because I know a lot of people. There's a lot of them. Yeah. You know, I feel like there is a lot of really, really close friends that I've had there. Close. Yeah. Do like that. I just stop seeing. Okay. So let's we're talking about you said we were going to start talking about with the writer di. Yeah there are and that's what I'm saying. There, there, there are people today in my life that at one point where my writer di and I was a writer Di, but because of one thing or another, it just did not stay that way. Yeah. Makes sense. And now those people, they go from the writer di best friend to just a good friend to an acquaintance. Yeah. You know, to to to somebody to to some. I can say that, um, I don't want to talk anymore, you know, like, I, I used to have a really good like I consider him, like, a really good friend when we were dating. He was dating, um. Your friend? Yeah. The girl that I was trying to get after. Right. And we became, like, really good friends. We were, like, inseparable. We were together all the time. We would work out all the time. We were together. We worked together. Yes, you're right. We worked together. Um, you know, we would go on double dates with you guys. We would. I mean, we would just do a bunch of things. I mean, we'd go play sports together. I mean, all these different things, and. You know, I remember he. He wanted to borrow money. And I'm like, sure. Which you know what? Looking back. Back then, I led one to at least 3 or 4 people borrow money. And one time one of my. One of my competitors, one of my good friends in high school, even borrowed, like, six grand from me to buy a car. I remember that, and he paid me back. He paid me back. He goes, do you give me, like a month and I'll pay you back? And I was like, don't, don't worry about it. Right? And looking back, I was like, I didn't even think about it twice because that was my best friend in high school. And he paid me back. Right. And so I, I had another friend of mine, um, in high school, I don't really talk to him anymore. And I remember I sold him some rims when I sold my, my Impala, I sold my, uh, I sold him my rims. It was like $1,500. And he goes, you mind if I pay you in payments? I said, yeah, no problem. And he paid me. Right. So I had really great friends. Track record of your friends paying you back. Yeah. Right. And I had a track record. So this one guy going back to this, one guy that I feel like, I don't know, I don't I don't want to talk to him anymore. And he calls me every once in a while. I just, you know, he texted me and I texted him back, but when he calls me, I just don't answer. Um, and he borrowed $300. So I was like, no problem. 300 bucks. Come pick him up. I have him in cash here at the house, and I didn't see him for like he goes, this was on a Tuesday. I'll never forget it. He goes, I'll pay you Friday. I figured, no problem. 300 bucks done. And how many years went by until I ran into him again? Oh my gosh. I. I couldn't get Ahold of him. I lost the friendship. I lost the friendship because of $300. And then what happened was there was another really good, great friend of mine. In fact, one of the one of the best guys I consider my best friend. After I moved to the United States that I went to high school with. He lived a couple streets down from my house and he called me one day and and so okay, so I let this guy borrow 300 bucks. Never paid me back. Right? I lost this friendship, which I really did care for the guy. Again, I checked all the boxes of a good friend for this guy. Never call me back, never pay me back, whatever. $300 lost. And I told myself, you know what? I'm not ever gonna let anyone borrow money again, right? And again, we're talking about these types of friendships because of money situations. But there's other things that other people have done that have in a sense, uncheck those boxes for me, for them. Right. But these other guy calls me right again, my really good friend and I just got burned down for 300 bucks. Right. So this other guy calls me back shortly after that $300 guy and he goes, man, I'm I'm losing my house. I need some money. I need to catch up on my my mortgage payment. I need $4,000. And I told myself, okay, look, I can let this guy borrow the four grand, which I have them, right? And if it happens, what happens to the other guy that he never paid me back? Then I'm going to be out of two things. I'm going to be out of four grand and I'm going to be out of a friendship. Okay? And so I told this guy because I was honest, and I told him, I said, look, I'm not gonna lie to you, okay? I said, I have the money and I can let you borrow the money. But the problem is, is that if you cannot pay me back or if you don't pay me back, I'm going to lose your friendship and I'm going to lose the $4,000. Now, I'd rather tell you the truth and let you know that I have the money, but I. I promise myself that I wasn't going to let any borrow anybody, anybody that I knew borrow money. Because if you cannot pay me back. Right. I don't want to lose your friendship. Now, if by me not letting you borrow the $4,000 is going to get you upset, and I'm going to lose your friendship, then at least I'm going to keep my four grand. And never saw him again. And what's crazy about this, right, is that I was working at that time for Zeb, okay? And my boss would come down from San Diego and would take us out to eat all the time to Outback Steakhouse, the prime one that was on, uh, across from the Rio years ago. And of course, it was on corporate corporate credit card. So we would eat we would we would eat dinner three days that he was here at, you know, steakhouses that outback. And one of those nights I go and this guy that had asked me money, right, that I was losing his house, that was losing his house at one of $4,000, was eating there with his wife. Now, if I need $4,000 to save my mortgage, and I got him from somebody, the last thing I'm going to do is go eat at a steakhouse, you know? So that told me everything. I'm like, dude, I don't I don't know what your motives are. I don't know what your situation is, but those are perfect examples of people that I just gave you. Two of them, of people that at one point were I consider my best friends, both of them that are no longer that I don't talk to them anymore. I mean, yeah, sometimes I feel like you lose best friends for things like that. Um, I guess you lose. So the. I think the stereotype or the myth that your best friend will always be your best friend is just not true, because I, I like as, like through school. Obviously, you have your best friends. Once you graduate school, you have another set of best friends. Um, maybe even when you start working, you become really close and you end up being the best friend with someone like that. Right. So either you lose your friends, your best friend through, um, something, a situation like what you had or like how you had said before, maybe through a jealousy thing or, um, if they see you maybe prospering and you're not, they're not or just you grow apart, but, like, still consider them friends if you ever saw them again or, like, ever speak to them again. Yeah. They just become and and listen, if I ran into both of these guys that I just talked to, if I happen to go to the store tomorrow and I ran into them, you know, I'll still say hi, I'll say hi and I'll be like, cordial. I'll be like, how's your wife? How are the kids? Oh my God, your kids are so grown. You know, if they're with their kids, of course, you know. So I'm I'm not saying that I'm, I'm. I'll ignore them in a sense. Yeah, but I, I today I have the sense. I feel like you still have a soft place in your heart for them. Like you would never consider them probably a best friend again. Or you never trust them with your money again or anything, but you still have a place in your heart. Or because they were. Yeah, I do, and you know what's funny is that one of them, um, his parents are my clients. And a couple months ago, his parents came down because they had some questions. Um, you know, the, the, the things that we did for them. And they were at my office, and it brought me back when I was in high school that I would go, go visit, go to his house and hang out, and the mom would make food, and the dad will be there, you know. And so it brought me back to that. And I gave the lady the biggest hug, you know. And so it doesn't it doesn't take away the human part. Um, it's just that it's, it's when it comes down to the word quote unquote friendship, it just doesn't fit that in there anymore. It's just a person that at one point was a really great friend, a best friend that for whatever reason, it's just not there anymore. And, um, looking back, since I've been in the United States until now, um, I just don't know if I have, you know that. A best friend. Honestly. Me? Were you? Yeah. Of course. You. You, in a sense, became my best friend. Because, I mean, you do know everything. I tell you everything. Yeah, everything. We don't. I mean, you don't. We don't hold anything back from one another as far as everything you know. And you know what I go through. You know, when I'm down, you know when I'm up, you know. You know, that's that's that that is if if I had a if I had another person that knows everything about my life like you do besides you, then that person would be my best friend, right? But there isn't one. Do you? I mean, do you feel like you need one? Not need one, but like where you would have love to have one, you know? Okay, so I'm not if you're my best friend, but I have a best friend. Yeah, yeah. You know, I there, there. Recently there has been a couple of people right that I've met that man. We we clicked, you know, and we had a good, um. What I thought developing a good friendship. Yeah. And there are certain things that. They do that. You know, if I, uh, if I wasn't in the position that I am today and if I wasn't in, I don't know if I guess if my awareness wasn't as much as as big as it is today, then it either would have cost a lot of troubles in my life or it would have. It would have cost a lot of issues with that person. Does that make sense? As far as me disliking them to where? To the point where I'm going to want to go fight them. Does that make sense? If I wasn't, uh, the bigger person? And so it it sucks in a way, because you're trying to find that person, right? And the other person that gets as close as you, it's my my son because he's my son. I mean, we do everything together. Literally the same person. Yeah. We've done a lot of things together as far as travel. And he gets me to right. He gets me because he knows my whole. He's known me his whole entire life, so he gets me 100%. And so that's my next best friend. Um, but my thing is, uh, it sucks in a way. That. Man, you think you got a good friendship and you're doing things for this person, and, you know, you're thinking, man, I'll. I'll bend over backwards for you, and you're there, and then next thing you know, they just do something stupid. Yeah. So. And I know who you're talking about. So in that example, that's actually one that maybe you wouldn't even want to see, huh? Like, I mean, if you saw that, I'm sure you'd say hi. But like, I think or at least with that specific person, you don't have that special place in your heart. Well, the question was, do I need them? And the answer is no. I would probably. I would probably want to still be friends with this person if they wouldn't have done what they did, or if they would have fessed up, or if they would have owned, yeah, out of their mistakes, you know, because that's what happens. You got you got people that you think that your friends. But then they, they hide things from you, you know, and then you, you just can't trust them. Backstab almost backstab, but also also keeping things away from you, you know. And and what's crazy that you know, there's other not this one. Right. If they would have, if they would have own their mistake, if they would have in a sense apologize because I would have done it. I'm the type of person. And I said this before and everybody in the business, because I made a lot of mistakes with our people in our business early on. Okay. And you're a witness to this. But it took me realizing, man, I, I messed up. I shouldn't have had done that. Yeah. You're great at apologizing when you realize that you're wrong. I have zero pride and zero ego. Yeah, I do give you that. On giving in when I am wrong. Right on. When I am wrong, I will be the first person that would say, you know what? I'm sorry. I apologize, I promise it will not happen again. I made a mistake. I don't know what I was thinking or I just, you know, misunderstood the situation. Um. I hope that we can please put this behind us. Is there anything I can do to make things better? Is there anything I can do to gain your respect or gain your trust or gain your. You know. And I think people do love and appreciate that and especially people in our business. Right. Because there are people in our business today that I've said this to. And today they, they, they love me and I love them and they appreciate me as much as I appreciate them, because I think when the definition of a. Of a true best friend. It's when you're when you're okay with being open with one another and being able to give in. Just like a partnership, just like you and I. Yeah. You know, that's really what it is, is a partnership. A friendship is a partnership. And when you're willing to give in a little bit, even take a step back, even if, even if you know you're wrong, you're right. Even if you know you're right and the other person's wrong. But you want to. You want to save that friendship. Yeah, yeah. Just like that. Even worth. Yeah, yeah. And so the fact that they don't do that is like, man, you're putting in 80% and I'm putting in 90%, so why should I just keep wasting my time and energy on this. Yeah. When I can go and redirect that time and love and energy somewhere else. Yeah. So I was actually talking to my best friend today about that and how sometimes, um, you have to like, give in sometimes if you really want to save a friendship, sometimes you have to give in a little bit. Like if you and I told her that, like, dude, if I ever like if there's anything wrong, like, I would do my best to save the relationship. Yeah. If you know if I can. And if you're willing to listen to me, um, because it. All those years. I think they're just they're worth to me because my best friend has lost a lot of friendships, especially since I've known her. Well, okay. And I and I tried to explain that to her on that aspect. I am with her on that aspect because I've had a conversations with, with with her on this stuff, and I see eye to eye with her on that. I know I do too. That's why I always tell you about the other person. Yeah. Um, and obviously I'm not going to say anything, but like, if I, I told her if I was the other person that, like you, that was your friend, and then you lost the friendship. I told her I would be trying to do my best to, like, rekindle it, but that's just me. And I understand that there's not a lot of people like me. Like I get over stuff quick, and then when I do, I try to fix the situation because I never even if I feel like, like you said, like that I'm right in the situation. I will still try to take blame. And sometimes that backfires on me because I've had a lot of friendships that people will like. Take advantage of the fact that they know I'm that kind of person, right? And but I'll still do it over and over again, because that's just the type of person I am, and I'm okay with that. Like, and if you want to take advantage of me because I'm that type of person, then obviously you're not a great friend to me. And I will at with time I do start to see it. And with time like I will start to like slowly stop talking to you and they will let you go. Yeah, but I always have, like I always will talk to you like I, I don't really have a lot of friendships that I have that I see now. And I'm like, oh no, I'm never talking to that person again. Like I just talk to the person. But no. Yeah, I don't have I don't have any. I don't really have, um, maybe only one person I can think of that I won't talk to anymore. But, um, yeah, when it comes down to friends like that, um, just because I don't talk to them anymore or just because I don't see them as often. Um, if I see them in the store, I'll still say hi, you know? But, I mean, I, I think. For you. It's because you have that our personality, you have that relationship personality or for me or Steph, where, you know, we're just like, all right, bro, fuck it, you know? Yeah. Like, you know, it's done like like I've always said this and this is going to sound cold to some people, but I really do believe there's a really thin line between love and hate. Yeah. And maybe not so much hate, but love and dislike. Like I dislike you now. I loved you yesterday. I dislike you today. And that's just my personality. That's just the way I am. I'm. I'm I'm I'm going back to what you said. Do I need them? No no no. Do be because I have I don't feel like I need them because I have somebody like you. I have somebody like my son, or I have unconditional love for my grandkids. You know, I feel like the the. That's you and my kids and my grandkids, my my family. Right. What came out of you and I. That's my core, right? That's my core. That's my everything. Yeah. And after that there is a few friends, right. That that we've known that we have. Um, and then obviously our, our business, you know, that that comes after. You know, but, um, me, I just move on and and and it's sad because I, I, I told you this the other day, and I don't know if I was at a point where I was like, fuck, this sucks. Where I thought I had some good friends over here, right where I was hanging out with them and having a good time and and then all of a sudden, you know, like they're not anymore. And I even have another guy that I started developing a really good relationship with and started meeting him and going on different things and this and then blah, blah, blah. But then it got to a point where you feel like they don't have your back when someone says something about you. You know, I see that's another thing. I, I, I know for a fact of a couple of people that have called themselves my best friends, or that at one point I had a really close relationship with that have engaged in conversations where my name was brought up and it wasn't in a good way. Um, and so when that happens. I, I, I can't continue with that. Like like I'll still say hi. I'll still maybe even go to your birthday party if you invite me to. But I just cannot trust you anymore. Make sense? Yeah. Because of the fact that. And maybe he's a man thing, right. But if I am ever engage or if I ever. If I ever have someone else approach me and tries to get engage in a conversation with me badmouthing one of my best friends, I'm gonna stop that on this track. Yeah. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna engage into that. I'm not gonna go behind somebody's back that calls themselves my best friend and engage into that, or talk that it involves not good things about me or not good things about them. Makes sense. Yeah. And so when that comes around, right. Because everything is known, everything comes. Everything comes back when that gets around, somehow, someway, you found out that that was what was that would happen, what was going on? Because it happens. I found out on both of them and I'm like, cool, you showed me your true colors. The red flag went up unchecked. The writer died part and that's why I, I that's why I, I stand where I say, and maybe people don't like it, but that's just what it is. So they're acquaintances. Um, good. Good acquaintances, good friends, best friends at one point, but just kind of lost that. Category fitting in that box. So let's go to like the next type of friendship, which I feel is more common. Maybe somebody that you don't talk to every day. Yeah, but when you do talk to them, it's a great time. And it's just like, okay, like yeah, that that's all your that's I feel like the majority of your friends. Right. That's right. That's where they're at right now. Yeah. That's why I have a lot of friends like that. Yeah. Like I'll go weeks without talking, but then like I'll like, we'll randomly say good morning one day. Mhm. Then we'll start talking. Yeah. And we'll be like oh let me catch you up on this. But it's a great friendship every time. Yeah. There's no like animosity. There's. Yeah. Yeah. It's just you kind of pick up where you left off years ago and you have a great time. Maybe you talk a little bit about, you know, things that you're doing and but yeah, I think that's where majority of the people that I, that I can call in a sense good friends, that's where they're at, you know, uh, that's where, where or, or good acquaintances. That's where they feel right now. Uh, a lot of them, a lot of friends from high school, a lot of friends from the past. Uh, maybe some people maybe were in the business with us, right? Like I we have. I have some great friends. That's one thing that people that we've met, a lot of people that work with us right in our business, that for whatever reason, they just didn't continue to work with us. Yeah. Um, and, uh, you know, when I see them, it's just like, you know, we're where we left off. A perfect example is, uh, my my good friend Frankie. You know, Frankie, I, I love I love him like my little brother. Yeah. You know, and we we used to spend all the time together. We, um, you know, we built the phenomenal, uh, you know, bond. And he he didn't continue in the business with us. Right. But, uh, I, I keep in contact with him on social media, and I see now he's got a beautiful family, beautiful kids. And I'm always congratulating him. I'm always telling him, man, I'm so proud of you. Because I met him. He was, what, 20 years old when I met him? Yeah. And now. And now he's got a wife and kids and, I mean, uh, great career. Uh, I would have loved to him, have continued to work with us, but, you know, he, uh, he just didn't. But I still when every time I see him, I'll give him the biggest hug. And, you know, I and I, and I love everything about his life. And you don't have to talk to him every day. I don't talk to him every day. So that kind of goes, uh, into do you kind of feel that social media helps with the. Friendship. Yeah. In those aspects? Yeah. Kind of friends. Yeah, yeah. 100%. You know, I was just telling somebody on our team because I learned this from one of our agents that she had said something in regards to every time you meet somebody to always to always tell them, hey, are you on social media? You know, and then to kind of become social media, uh, friends, like, start following each other on social media. Right. And I did that with this guy. And again, this guy was like 18 years old when I met him. And I wanted to have him come work with us. And he was having a baby at that time. And, um, you know, timing wasn't right for him to come work with us. Right. But but we followed each other on social media, and I've been following up with him for, like, six years. Uh, let me see. For at six years? Yeah. Six years. Um, and recently we just had this. So I've been seeing him grow. Same thing. Right? I've been seeing him grow in social media because he had two kids. Now he's married. Uh, he travels. Right. And so when I got together with him about a month ago at my office. Right. Finally, after six years of following up with him, it was like if I knew his whole life, you know, and in the same way, ask him questions like, yeah, like. Yeah. And then same thing with me. He was like, man, your grandkids and this and that and blah blah blah. Like he knew things that I posed, you know, and so, um, those type of friendships like that, I, I do, I do like and I do like, uh, like, like you said, social media, if someone is on social media and they're posting the things that they do, you can at least somewhat keep up with them, you know? Yeah. Especially if they do post. Yeah. Then you get some friends that just don't post that. Yeah, I know I'll follow up with what's going on with their lives. I know it's like, bro, what that what you been up to? I do like you're taking me back to old times. I have to really ask you what's going on. I haven't seen you in forever. And you don't post anything, so I don't know what's going on with you. I know I'm you're great at that. Like, I'm not so great at that. Like, if I don't really know, you know, you like, I'm not the great at following you. I have to kind of. No, no I do, I actually like, you know, maybe I'll meet you one time, but that one time had to be like, I had to hang out with, like, really hang out with you, and then maybe I'll, like, follow you or when you let you. Because, like, the other day, for example, we met a couple. Um, okay. At breakfast? Okay. Okay. Yeah. And when we're leaving, you're like, oh, let me get your social media. I did not pull out my phone. I it's not that I don't. I mean like, not that I don't care. I just that if I don't really know, you know you quite yet and you're great at that because there's times where we met people, because you met them first and you introduced them to me. Yeah. You know, I love doing that. I actually, I do, I that's the one thing that's, that's what's crazy about this whole episode. And when it comes down to me is that I love meeting new people. I really do love meeting new people. And like with this couple, what a great success story, right? Like, the guy was telling us the things that they did. Yeah. I'm like, man, this is awesome. And it happened to we happen to have a lot more in common, a lot more in common. Yeah, yeah. Than it was like a shock. You just met your best friend. Yeah. For real? Yeah. And and, uh, we happen to have a lot of. We're bald head and, like, bald head with a beard and tattoos. Yeah. And I was like, that kind of looks like Miguel. Same business too. But anyways, um, it it happened to I. I love meeting new people. That's the crazy part. And that that I love meeting. Yeah. You have a lot of social. I'm a lot of social friends. Yeah. Like the. But you just don't have that one. Yeah. And you know what there's again I don't. I don't necessarily. I'm not seeking for that best friend. Right. No, no, but but but I do know a lot of people. I think the fact that we have a lot of social friends. Hope you not want to have a I don't know, I love I love Olive. Yeah. I always send love to everybody, even the ones that I don't really care about. You even conversate with people you barely know on social. Yeah, sometimes. Don't give them a hard time. You give them a hard time. I mean, yeah, okay, okay. It's like the mess with them. If you if you really know them, you do. If you don't really know them, you don't really. You don't want to mess with them. What if they take it personal? You never know how. Okay, the next question I have. Do you feel that men and women truly can be great friends without complications? You know, I you mean. Okay, so let me let me elaborate on this question. So you're saying, like, if I can have a girl that's a really good friend, right? Without, like, wanting to take it? Yeah, yeah. Like to the next level. In a sexual, romantic way. Yeah. Um. Yes. Yes, I think so. I, I have a very good idea. I feel like you I, I have, honestly, I have I have one person that I can, I can honestly tell you she is a really, really, really good friend. And she's she's a good looking girl. She's a good looking girl. She's successful. She makes money. Um, and she's a good looking girl. But I have never. And I don't think I feel you know anything when it comes down to like, oh, my God, you know, because there's some girls that even though obviously we're we're been married for a long time and, you know, there are some girls that I see and I'm like, oh my God. Right. But this person know, so I, I, I, I, I say yes, I say yes because I have a really. Good friend. That's a girl that you know. I, I, I just don't look at her in any other way other than a great friend. That than a really good friend. Yeah. That I can have a great conversation with. And I love having conversations with her. Like, like there was a time I don't think you were even you. You weren't even here. And she came to the house and we had a couple other friends and man, we were here until like 1030, 11:00 at night, just having great conversations. And we were smoking hookah and, and, uh, having a cup of drinks and it was, it's, it's it's that person that you almost need from time to time to expand your awareness and to lift your spirits. That's how I feel towards her. Yeah. So yeah, I would say, yeah. Like to the point where you guys are best friend. Um, you know, I don't know if I can I don't know if I can call her a best friend, but I can honestly call her. And if I, I'm sure that if I ever opened up, if you ever needed anything, she would be. Yes. She is a great friend. Yes. She's very. She's probably the closest after you on on on a female version. Yeah. She's probably the she's probably and I don't do it because obviously she's busy and um, you know and and I have you. But if, if for whatever reason, you were not there. And you needed to talk, and I needed to talk to her. She would. She would be a good person that I can reach out and get guidance and get. Yeah. Um, and get, uh, counseling in a sense, because I learn a lot from her. Yeah. You know, so she she, in a sense, brings value. Makes sense. Yeah. Which I think I think, uh, which I've had I've had great conversations with, with your best friend. I feel like that's a person that has gotten to know me a lot personally to, you know, and and the things that she's been through. And the thing that, uh, I've been through, which I can I can have a conversation with her just like. And I can have it with. Yeah. You know, with, with Brenda and and it'll be fine, too. You know that that's that's another one that I can, you know, not hold back. Not hold back. In fact, I there's one time where I was going to go do something and I'm like, you know what? If I do this and I post it. Steph's going to get mad, so I need to tell her I can call her. I'm not even gonna text her. I'm gonna call her. I want to hear her voice. I want to tell her. And so I called her and I was like, hey, I'm about to do this. I just want you to know that if you see her and she's like, oh my God, you're so cute. Go for it. Just do it, I don't care. I said, all right, I feel better. Go. I remember that. You know, because that's another thing, right? Because again, going back to what I said. Right. If if I'm your best friend. And you know that I know I'm your best friend. And I know that you don't like a certain person. Of course I'm gonna back you up. Right. That other person that you don't really care for is not going to be my best friend, right? You're my best friend. Yes. And so if all of a sudden I don't tell you something, I'll tell you anything. And all of a sudden I go and I meet with this person, and all of a sudden we're posted together. We're posting or use what I can. Can you trust me? I know, yeah, I understand what you're saying. So that's what I'm talking about right here. Okay. So what if I had a guy best friend? Uh huh. Would you have a problem with that? I think you do. I mean, you did have one in high school. I did have one in high school. I'm cool with him. I see him and I'm. Yeah, I know, I mean, that we don't hang out with. But you did back then because you guys saw each other every day in school. Yeah. You know, and. And now, today, we know him and his wife. And there are times. And he saw his wife did it. Yeah. And so, I mean, I'm I'm cool with him. Yeah. If I, if I. Okay. So here's the thing. Okay. And I'm talking about like today. Well, okay. So that's what I was getting to. I, I and I'm sure women are the same way. Okay. Because you have an instinct and we have an instinct. Guys know guys. Okay, so if I know this person and I can see what type of person he is and I can see what he does, let's say this person is married, okay? And I can see what this person does when his wife is not around. Then I cannot trust them around you. Okay, that makes sense. Okay. Which there are some guys like that. Okay. And I cannot trust these guys with my wife. They. In fact, there are some guys that we know that I would never leave them alone with you, because I just know who they are, and I know them, and I won't tell them that. But I just know you're a dog, and I'm not. I'm not gonna. I'm not. And you're not even gonna come to my house. Okay. Um, but if I know the guy and I know their intentions, and you know what? Guys are guys. So it might come up every once in a while. It might be like, oh, man, what about. Yeah, okay, whatever, but that. But if you know that this person, you can feel it. I can feel it, I can sense it. Right? And if I see that that person is green flags, then yeah, I don't have a problem. He'd have to check all your marks before I have to make sure that I get the. The good vibes I see, because I can pick it up. I like look perfect examples at the gym, right? There's a lot of other guys that I met at the gym, and every once in a while, see you talking to them at the gym, right? Yeah. And we're just. Your guys are talking. You guys are. You know, I'm not gonna go get jealous. I'm not gonna go over something else. But still, it's the same thing because there aren't a jealous person. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. There are guys that are like, nah. Hell no. You know. Yeah, there is, guys, but that's a different issue because then you're just a jealous person. And even if the guy who was had checked all the green marks, well, you still would. But it still fits okay, but it still fits in that. And that question that you're asking me in regards to what? I let you have a male friend. Yeah, it's the same thing, you know. No, I'm just saying your answer would be different if you were a jealous person. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it'll be no. Which there are guys like that. Which there are guys like that. There are guys that are, like, completely like. No. My wife is not talking to another man. Yeah, there are people there, guys like that. You know, so like I said, if if, if I knew the guy, if I knew the person. Like there are some good like there are some good guys that I know that are like really cool friends of mine, that if you were to talk to them or in fact you have some of them, you have asked them to do things for you and, you know, do certain things and you're messaging them and, you know, they're like my they're my, my good friends. Right? And so I'm okay. I just have to know the person. Yeah. Same thing. Like with you. There are some girls that I have met that I introduce you to, and then you're cool with them. And, you know, the ones that have the bad intentions. Because you tell me you're like, no, there's something about this girl that's a no no. And I'm like, okay, no problem. And then it's cut off and then we move forward. I mean, I don't know if I've ever really said that because. No, you have you have said that you have. It's not that. But when I say that, it's because I feel like those it's not because I'm jealous and I'm like, feel like she's gonna steal you away because I'm not that person. They're just not good people in general, I feel. But if it's don't make me sound like a book because no no no no no, that's not what I meant. It just fits in that box. It's the same thing if the guy was not a good person, like I told you, because they I've seen him and I know what they do and what the things that they say and how they act. And I know it's a no. Okay, so then I don't know how much time we have left, because I feel like this conversation could last quite a bit. But there is like another one more question where a 47 minute. So okay, one more question. Do you have do you feel that there's people you need to keep close as friends. But in a sense you almost like have to watch you watch your back or you know what to say and not to say to them, but you rather keep them. You know how they say, keep your enemies closer. Yeah. Like deep down inside, you know, this person's maybe not a great person. Yeah, but you don't want to cut it off because you'd almost rather have them, like on this side of the friendship rather than the enemy side of the friendship. I don't know if that makes sense. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I just don't know if I randomize. I think they're called. I don't know if. I don't know if I have the feeling of needing to keeping them close. I think I might have the feeling of still knowing them and staying still, being cordial with them, and still being able to have somewhat of an acquaintance relationship with them. But it's not because they're my enemies, and it's not because they're, um, I don't know, because I, I just feel like I'm okay knowing them, but I'm not okay with trusting them and getting to share oversharing information with them. Does that make sense? Yeah. You know, when, not what not to say. Right. And there are times where I've gotten to the point where I don't like, like, okay, here's the thing. Okay. There are some people that you know and you care about, and when you see them, you want to know things about them, right? Like if let's just say, let's just say one of these friends you haven't seen in a long time or or the ones that are at one point, your best friend's. If you run into them, right? If you really care about them. You're you're gonna ask questions. So tell me about this. So tell me about that. So tell me about this. What about this? And what about that? And I saw you did this, and I saw you did that. Right. Because you're really, truly care about them. But there are some people that you come across, but you don't care to ask those questions because you don't want to know. That makes sense. Yeah. You don't care to elaborate in there, right? I don't I don't so I don't I don't feel like I need to keep them close because they're enemies so that we can be frenemies. But I feel like I still want to I because I feel like I'm a good friend. Right? Because I have done things for people and they haven't reciprocated, as I said. Um, it's I feel like if I still knew them, I'll be fine. I don't know if that makes sense, I don't know. You tired? I'm just still a little jet lagged. Oh, we're. Well, we haven't. We've been back. What? Not even a week yet? Tomorrow. Be a week. Tomorrow. Be a week. Actually. Know today? Wednesday. Oh, today? Yeah. Today's Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. Today's Wednesday. So I'm going to week. So I know I mean to to answer back to your question. No I don't feel like I need to keep them. There are some people I really don't care for. I know them, they're acquaintances and they're just maybe I just haven't run across a person like that. I feel there is people in you. You haven't. I don't I'm trying to think of my friends. Okay, so here's the thing about between me and you, when it comes down to things like this and going back to what you said earlier today, I feel like I'm the one that can cut them off. Oh, yeah. Like I can cut you off today and I don't I I'm sayonara like goodbye. Yeah. Where you bring the perspective of a weight. You know you gotta be do this or do that or keep them closed because of this. Because of that. And then I'm like, oh, okay, I gotcha. Yeah. So that has happened with some people. But me personally, that's what I say. Yeah. We, we deal with our friendships differently. Yeah sure. Yeah. And you know what I I'm okay. I'm honestly I'm okay, I'm okay. You know your nephew. I feel like he with time again. Because I know you guys stopped talking for a while, but definitely be your best friend. Yeah, I mean, we we did. We didn't talk for for a few years. Would you guys are the same age and you guys look like twins, huh? But you know what's what's funny is that we just recently like, what, a month ago had a talk, you know, and I had I had put things behind, you know, I had honestly, when it came down to that, I, I again, I'm the type of person that could, you know, like put things behind like, okay, I was immature. I did something I should have had done, I put it behind, uh, but with him, he, he felt like that wasn't close yet. Right? Like he felt like he needed a little bit of closure as far as opening up and talking about it and getting to hear it from me, which I had no problem on, on letting him know that everything was fine and I think it made him feel a lot better in opening up. So yeah, maybe that relationship will grow. Yeah. Where it was, you know, because we we're like brothers. I know you guys. When you first introduced me to him years ago when he we grew up together, he's he's like my baby. We picked him up at the airport. And this was before when you could actually go up to the gate before 911 and you could go up to the gate and, like, say hi, you know, like it, greet the person as they're getting off the plane for you youngsters. That used to be a thing. And, um, I remember when he got off the plane, you were so excited to see him. Well, that's family. You know, I think when it comes out, we're talking friends. We're talking friends outside of family. Right? But this is family and family that you will consider a friend like my cousin in California. I mean, she's my cousin. Yeah, but that is my friend. That's my girl, you know? Yeah. And even though we're cousins. Yeah. Families are different topics. Like. Yeah. Same friend, same thing. You do anything for her? She'll do anything for you. And. And it's the same thing with with with my nephews. The same thing with your cousins. Your. The relationship that I even have with your cousins is the same. That's that's that's a whole different topic. So the, the, the people that we that I refer to on this friendship podcast, it's everything was outside family. Well I mean, you said me and your son were your best friend. That's why I kind of brought that in. Yeah. Well, I mean, but again, that's our inner family. But as far as birth, as far as, like, cousins and brothers and sisters, you know, outside of everybody else. That's that's that, that put please put that in a different bubble because that, that was not what I referred to on this podcast. That's a whole nother topic. That is another topic. Family? I don't know, man. We might be wrong, but I doubt it. You're always wrong. I'm always right. You know what? You might be right on that. And that's okay. There's nothing I can do. Right. If that's. If that's what it is, that's what it is. But I just know that. That, you know, that it's just. That's just me. It's how I see things, my perception. But yeah, friendship is, uh, uh, great people, though, there are great people. It's just that, you know, they just they uncheck themselves on those boxes of. Right. Or my best friend. I'm. I'm happy you got one, though. I'm really I'm really. I'm happy you got one. Me too. She's a real one. Yes. I guess you're used to hanging out with real ones. Yeah. Real one milligram. Yeah. That's right. All right, well, I hope you guys like this. And next week, uh, I'm hoping to get a special guest. That would be awesome. And, uh, man, I don't know who I got now. I don't know, I don't know who. I don't know if I have a best friend to interview. I have a special guest. You have to find a special guest. It doesn't have to be your best friend, because obviously you don't have one. But we'll see. I'll bring a good friend. Yeah. All right, guys, well, thank you so much for listening. Love you guys. Take care time. Bye bye bye. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Unfiltered Us. If you enjoyed this conversation, don't forget to hit that follow button so you never miss an episode. We'd love to hear your thoughts, drop a comment, and join in the conversation. If you think someone else will enjoy today's chat, go ahead and share this episode with them. Your support means the world to us. Until next time, stay real and stay unfiltered.