Episode 7 - Is Susie a Toxica?

The people want to know… is Susie a tóxica? 😳 In this episode, we’re putting it all on the table—jealousy, sass, and a little overthinking included. From FBI-level social media stalking to “who’s that girl that liked your photo in 2018?”, we’re diving into the signs, the drama, and the laughs. 😆

Is she protective or possessive? Passionate or petty? Tune in to hear us roast each other lovingly (kinda) and finally answer the question: is Susie really the tóxica in this relationship?

💬 Cast your vote in the comments—Team Tóxica or Team Misunderstood?
 #ToxicaVibes #CoupleGoals #PodcastLife #UnfilteredUs #RelationshipHumor #SpicyLove #LatinaEnergy #MarriageTalk

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Susie's Instagram: @sdguzman98

Transcript

Episode 7 - Is Susie a Toxica?

 You're listening to unfiltered us, where we keep it real and unscripted. I'm your host, Susie, along with my husband, Miguel. Ready to dive in? Let's get started. Okay, well. Welcome back. Hello. Thank you for making us tea, by the way. Uh. You're welcome. I figure it's the least I can do. Especially since I'm not drinking. You're not drinking alcohol? Alcohol? Yes. Correct. And I figure since I've had a couple of days of, uh, a little flu wanting to get me, it's not going to get me as easy. You're not gonna catch me as usual, baby. That's correct. So today we have an interesting topic. Yes we do. Yeah. So I guess that's the question. The million dollar question. Is Suzy a toxic? Are you a toxic? I am, I'm the biggest toxic guy you will ever know. Man, that couldn't be more of a lie. Don't talk to my man. Don't DM him. Don't look at him. Don't. Nothing. I keep him housed in the house. House in the house. Housed in the house. A prisoner in the house. He can't go nowhere. Yeah, right. Um, so let's talk about that. I think that's that's actually something very, um, important to cover, because obviously we're talking about we've talked about our story and we talked about the things that worked and hasn't worked, and then some of the challenges that we went through. And, you know, I think a lot of people sometimes ask themselves, which they've had asked all these questions, are the secret of marriage and the secret of long lasting relationship. And I think one of them is trust and communication. Right, absolutely. And, well, that's really the most important part. But, you know, we we never when not always we've had this. No, not at all in communication that we've had. And so we're going to discuss that today on how maybe how we got to this point and, um, how today you're so far away from being a toxic guy, which we see that in so many couples and so many relationships and, you know, for both husband and wife, I think, yes, I agree, and I feel like it's the part that messes up most marriages or relationships because there is no trust. And so everyone always feels like some, you know, like their man is talking to another woman or, you know, a woman is talking to another man. And so I feel like when you're up front about it and talk about it, it's so much easier to get through a relationship and keep it long term rather than hiding it from your significant other. Right. So you went right in it, I did. So okay. So let's talk about that because that does happen right. Especially in social media. Right. And I think that or maybe people where they work, a lot of the times it could be at their, their jobs. Correct. And one of the things I've seen a lot on social media is like this thing such as, like my work husband and my work wife. Yes, it's something that you see a lot sometimes on social media. And clearly the spouse knows that there is a quote unquote, you know, work husband or work wife, but they don't know the extent, probably, of the conversations that they have or they don't know the extent of what that exactly means. Yeah. So I mean, obviously we don't have jobs, so it's not something we run into. But when I did work in Nevada Power, I did feel like I had to work. Husband. What? Why am I just learning about this right now? Oh my gosh. It was just cut, you know. Kyle. Oh, Kyle. Okay. I would consider Kyle my word, cousin. All right. Okay. Let me see up on my team. Uh, Kyle was just someone I would go to lunch with. Obviously had communication outside of work, but you did. You knew all of that. We would go to his house parties. He was married as well. Um, so there was really. No. I mean, there was no at all like, interest that I wanted to be with him. It was just somebody that I felt like was cool to hang out with at work. And rather than me sitting by myself at a lunch area, um, it was someone great to have a conversation with and go to lunch with. And that's all. I really came to LA with my work husband. That's all I came down to, and he would invite us to his parties if he would have like a UFC fight or Super Bowl or whatever. So obviously you knew of him and right, he was there. But again, it was just something, someone to hang out with at work. It wasn't I don't know if the extent to work husbands nowadays if it goes beyond that, but that's all he really was, right. And I, I was just going to say that I was just going to say how when we did have jobs and we were for corporate companies, I don't know if the terminology work husband, work, wife was out. I at least I never heard about it until recently on social media that people started posting these things. Right. And so but I do remember that I do remember him. And I think that may be, um, a different topic though, because or, or or maybe it somewhat doesn't apply or it does apply to what we're going to cover, because I knew of him and I had met him. Right. And I think a lot of the times when people don't know. Right, there's a lot of employers that keep spouses out of, um, employer or corporate events, right? Their company events. And so maybe if you, if you were to had come home and talk so much about this person and me. No, no, this person. Right. It would have been a different story, just like it would be if I was to have done the same thing for a female coworker that I had. And which is funny because I did have female coworkers. That, and some of them were even my bosses that I had a good relationship with at work and out of work. But you knew them as well too. Yeah, right. And so I think that's that plays a big part of getting to know who that person is and what the relationship and how you define that. Yeah. I mean like, yeah, I guess because we don't have a job. I don't know if that has changed. Now, do you think that there's still people out there that even though they know that person, which I know the answer to this, that they're still super toxic about, that they're so jealous. And there could be. Why? Why do you think that happens? Uh, insecurity? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe no confidence, maybe no. Um. Uh. Loyalty. Lack of trust. Lack of trust. It could be lots of things. Track record? Yeah. Track record of the person. You know, it's hard to say individually. Um, so it's hard because every situation is so different. And again, just because of the way I am, I know that a lot of people won't. I, I don't know how to word it correctly, but I feel like a lot of people won't understand where I'm coming from because I'm not that way. And when I tell people I'm not that way, that I'm not like, I don't get jealous at all. A lot of women have a hard time understanding that. Like they don't understand why I'm not. And like towards me. Yeah. And it's not because. Because a lot of I assume a lot of people think, well, you just don't love your husband. And because how could you not be jealous? Like the fact that someone may try to steal him away from you or whatever. But I think that my point of view on that is that I trust my husband so much that I don't feel like he's hiding anything from me. And if he ever does or does something out of. Norm, then that's on him, not on me. Does that make sense? You know, like, if he decides to break that trust and bond that we have. He's the one that ultimately loses. Not me. Right. And I feel like a lot of women look at it like, oh, I just lost the love of my life. No you didn't. Because honestly, if he couldn't be truthful to you, and then he couldn't keep those open lines of communication, he's ultimately the person that lost, not you. And that's the way I look at it. Um, the loss would be on your end because you would lose someone incredible like me. Right. And you just have to have the confidence in that. Like saying I'm the price, you know? And if he can't see that, and if he wants to mess around or be that person, ultimately he's going to lose me. And I think that I'm worth so much more than that that I won't stand it. And obviously the relationship would be over. But that's that's not how a lot of women see it nowadays. Women see it like, oh, that's my man. That's my prize. No one could see him, no one could talk to him. And I just don't view it that way. Right. I think it works the same for me as far as you know, the way I trust you. Right. And the way, um, you know, we have a lot of open communication, and I agree, I agree 100%. I think that if that was ever the case where they messed up, right, not you, they they're going to lose out on something bigger because of the fact that they think the grass is greener and the other side. Right. Which I'm aware of that. Okay. And as a man right. Talking to let's say another person that's not your wife, another woman that's not your wife. As a man, you gotta realize that, okay? And you gotta understand that. Yes. Um, maybe I am sending a message to this person. Or maybe we're just friends, and a lot of the times we might share a meme or two or whatever. We might laugh or might be so communication. But as long as and I've always said this, not always, but we got to that point where we can be open with one another and said, look, here's what's going on, here's this person, here's what's happening. This is how I know this person, and this is somewhat the communication or this is the communication that we have. Right. And this is where that went. This is how that went. And then we have that where, you know, and I know, um, but we don't cross those boundaries. We don't cross those lines because of the trust and respect that we don't want to hurt each other in that aspect. And I kind of feel like also, when it comes to relationships, men and women could actually be friends. Yeah, that's my other point of view on that. I think you would be ignorant if you thought that your man never wanted to have. A relationship with another girl like that. He should only talk to guys, and that's not the case either, right? A lot of times these guys just want to have conversations with, especially you being your social butterfly that you are. I don't have a problem with you talking to another girl like it's. I understand that friendships are formed, especially because a lot of my friends, especially growing up or even going to work, were guys, right? And they were not in any way that I was interested in them. They were really just sometimes it's just easier for me to talk to a guy than it is to talk to a girl, right? And so I assume it's the same way for you, that it's just sometimes you want to have a conversation with a girl, and that's okay. And I've always told you, and you're great at this, is that as long as you tell me that you're having a conversation with that girl, and you tell me what the conversation is about, I'm absolutely okay with it. It's when you try to hide it from me that that's the part that hurts. And it's not because I'm jealous. It's because I feel like you were hiding something from me. And that's the part that I don't like. I don't like to be, um, like, let's just say, for example, I meet the girl down the road and she comes up to me and she's like, oh, I've talked to Miguel about this and this and this, and I had no idea. I don't want to be blindsided by the fact that this girl's been having a conversation with you and what their conversation is about, and I had no idea about it. And so that's so the betrayal on that is the part that hurt would hurt me more than me being jealous about it. Yeah. And so you're great at that. If you have a conversation with the girl, whether it be DMs or at the gym or whatever it may be, you're great about telling me, oh, I had a conversation with this girl. This was what it was about, and that's it. And that's all I want to know. And I'm like, okay, cool. And that's it. Yeah. You know, I think that's that's actually the hardest part from. A man point of view. That's actually the hardest part. And this is where I see, because I have a lot of guy friends that, you know, when you get to have a conversation with them, you get to see how their marriage dynamic is different than yours. Right? Because it's still operate how we used to operate, or at least how I used to operate, where they could have talked to another girl and it was whatever work related or gym related or, um, x, y, z on social media. Right. And they keep that from their spouses, from their wives because they just don't y if they just don't want the wife to find out that they were somehow communicating with another female, because even though it was harmless, even though it was harmless, it is so hard for a guy to open up. And I can say that because that was me, you know, like I, I, I've had prior to us getting to the point, the point where we are open about who we're talking to. I had had conversations with females, right, especially on social media, right, that I kept away from you because of the fact that. Excuse me. Because of the fact that I was afraid on how you were going to take it. Correct. And even though it was harmless, even though it was, uh, maybe pushing borderline. Yeah, right. Um, and I mean borderline of, like, uh, flirting. Right? Let's just say. Yeah. Yeah. Because sometimes you could say something like that, right? Like, hey, you look good or man, you know, like, whatever. Right. Right. Um. It's hard it's hard to open up and tell your spouse about that, because, number one, you don't know how they're going to take it. Or maybe you do know how they're going to take it, and they're just going to make a big deal out of nothing. Right. And number two, you just don't want to hurt them. Correct. You know, because, you know, it means nothing. Because you know that it's not going to go anywhere. Now, I can't speak for every man out there, but I do know that some people do. Right. Cross that line. Yes. And I do know that as a man, we might have a track record because we're men. Yes. Okay. Of crossing that line and going for something more than just, uh, you know, uh. The friendliness, the friendliness, or going for something more than just exchanging a couple of messages or a couple of memes here and there, right? And so I do know that, you know, just like men and women have crossed that line, and then all of a sudden, you know, that's where things happen. But I think, you know, we got to a point where we were open about it, and you ask right from me to share with you. And it was so hard. It was it, you know, it is it was a big fan. If you're listening as a man, it is so hard. But I'm telling you, it's probably one of the best things I've ever done in my life. Because now I live like I don't have to hide anything, which I don't. Right. I tell you everything. Right. Because of the fact that, um, I it's just so much better that way. It is. And for us to get to that point. Yes, there was a lot of hard conversations, obviously. Um, because you were so, like, scared. But that happens. I mean, that's normal, right? That's human. Especially like when you hear track records of, like, marriages, they're like, oh, he was talking to a girl. And, you know, I understand that, But we just never got to the point up until that time that we were going to be like, we're going to be open about this, okay? Like, if you're talking to someone, I just need to know who it is, and I need to know what the conversation is about. That's all right. And I won't make a big deal about it. Like, I just want to know. And look for me to assume that you think that I am the most beautiful girl in the world, and that you're never going to have eyes for another person is just crazy. Like, I know you find me beautiful, and I know that I do. And I know that you know that you love me. But for me to assume that you think that no other girl is going to be pretty is crazy, right? Because I know that's about that's going to happen one day. And it does. You know, and you I love that you're a friend about that as well. Like if you find someone attractive you're like I find her attractive. Like I think she's pretty and it doesn't take anything away from me and it doesn't take anything away from her. She's beautiful. If she's beautiful, she's beautiful. And there's nothing wrong with that. If I see her and I think she's. I'll tell you, too. Oh, yeah. She's beautiful. It doesn't diminish my. Um. The beauty that you think that I have, it doesn't diminish that in any way. Because you find another girl attractive, right? I'm still me. And I'm still beautiful in your eyes. And that's all that matters. It doesn't take away from me anything, right? And that is having confidence. You know, it's the same thing with me that is having confidence. And going back to what I was saying a second ago on how you can have a conversation with a friend and let's say as a guy and look at another girl and you can say, man, she's that girl is hot, right? Or look at her, she's got big this or big that, right. And you can say that to a friend, but you most guys cannot say that to their wives. And that's why I said we got to a point where now we're best friends, because I can tell you that if I see another person, you know, at the gym, I'd be like, oh my God, did you see this girl? I never seen her before. And she looked good, right. And and you could be like, oh yeah, I saw her. That and that's it. That's as far as it goes. Right? But to be able to have that relationship, I think it's just amazing. It's just the, the hardest part is just getting there. It's just being opened up. And I think number one from a guy point of view, is because you don't know how you're going to take it, right? And from the women point of view, which unfortunately they don't think like you, they do take it wrong. You know, maybe it's it's low self-esteem. Maybe it's insecurity. Right. Uh, maybe track record is a, a track record, maybe, um, immaturity. I guess you can say. Right. Uh, knowing that, you know, your husband should only have eyes for you, you know, because let's let's be honest here as a man. You're going to look at other women, right? Okay. You're going to. I mean, I. I doubt a man a real man. Okay. A real masculine man. I doubt that he will not look at another another woman that's attractive. And he wouldn't think anything besides my wife. Does that make sense? Correct. It's not going to happen. I'm sorry. I, I, I honestly doubt. You're a complete masculine man. If you look at another person and you turn around the other way because she's too pretty or she's too hot. You know, you're gonna you're gonna see that. You're gonna you're gonna automatically as a man. And you know what? It's hard for me to explain why that is. That's just how we're wired, in a sense. And a lot of the times, it's hard for women to really understand how a man thinks, but. Right. This is why we have done so much ups and downs in our lives, and so much self improvement on the topic, right, that we're at a point where different and the whole point of this is to maybe help people understand that dynamic. Yeah. I mean, I would love for everyone to be like me. I feel bad for a lot of my friends. It's, uh, it makes life so much easier when you're not a jealous person, when you're not insecure about your relationship, and I, I don't, I think, God, I guess I'm this way, but I know at one point I was that person, but it was all because of me. Like, I knew I had no confidence in myself at that time, and I knew that I wasn't the person that you married at one point, you know, like. Let's just be honest. I let myself go. At one point in our lives, like. And I don't know if it was because of children or, you know, being a wife. When you say let it go. You mean like physically? Like physically? Like I just wasn't proud of myself. I had got really big and I had no confidence in myself. And if you would have asked me back then, yeah, I would have been a jealous person. Yeah, I would have been insecure and all this stuff. But it's because I wasn't happy with myself, especially at that time. I didn't like the way I looked. I thought I, you know, like I didn't do my makeup, I wouldn't do my hair like. And I had got really big. And so at that point, I was just so unhappy with myself that a lot of times I probably took it out on you. And but again, that's had nothing to do with you that had everything to do with me. And so once I changed that about myself and I became physically fit and I started, you know, working out and watching what I eat and like, obviously taking care of myself, like makeup, hair, all of it, like dressing better. The confidence went so up that we could now be at this point in our relationship where I'm not that person anymore, where I'm not that jealous person, where I'm not that insecure person. And again, I look at it like I'm the price, just like you look at you're are the prize. And so if you want to mess that up, you're the one that's losing. Not me. Right. So basically, you raised your self worth. Yes. And a lot. And you know what? That's so important because I, I see that a lot. Right. And obviously looking back, I mean I've, I, I, I think I'm in the best shape of my life right now and I'm the oldest I've ever been. And looking back, yeah, when I was younger I could say the same thing. You know, I used to wear a size 40 pants. I let go of myself. Right? Uh, and maybe at that time, maybe I didn't have time to work out. I don't know, I think I did. I just made an excuse not to do it. And we never paid attention to what we ate and all these different things. Right. But I think if you are at a point where you do have the time or the resources to work out, you know, to look good to, to to make your health a priority, just like you make your business and your family a priority because it only takes us about an hour, an hour and a half every day, right? For you to really work out and and and feel great about yourself and raise your self-worth like you did. And, and you have that time and ability to do all of that, and you don't do it, then you're putting yourself in that position. And this is why a lot of the times, men and women lose interest in their partners because of the fact that if you don't love yourself, if you don't take care of yourself, why should someone else do? You know. And so that's important as well too. And the fact that you're bringing that up not only made you more confident about yourself and raise your self-worth. Where now you say I am the price, right, that it'll empower your partner to do the exact same thing right? To where now you're both at the same level? Because I'm telling you, I've seen people who are successful make a lot of money and they let themselves go physically. Right? And actually, you know, they're divorced. Yeah. And I had actually got one of the best advice from my mom a long, long time ago, um, because she noticed that in me. And she came, she told me one time and she was like, me. Huh? She was like, your husband didn't marry this person. Your husband married a person that looks completely different from you. And of course, she was trying to be in a nice way to tell me that I had gotten really big. Um, and she goes, your husband will start to seek other people if you don't look like the way you did when he first married you. So always learn to take care of yourself. Always learn to, even if you're at home, like, do the best to like, do your hair or your makeup or like dress nice because the last thing you want is your husband seeking another person because you're not the person that he once married. And I thought about that. And I'm like, she's absolutely right. Like, how do I expect Miguel to continue to love me when I'm not even in love with myself? And then on top of that, I don't even look. She's right. I don't look like I did when Miguel first married me. I look like a completely different person. And so if I don't want you to be seeking other people, um, and being proud to come home to me, then obviously I need to change how I look and how I think about myself. Right? And so that stuck with me. And it's true. Because if you look at my mom, my mom is like 74 years old. He just gave out her age. I mean, she looks great for her age. If you saw my mom, you would never think she's 74 years old, right? The woman looks incredible for her age. But if you look at my mom, and every day that I grew up, that woman was always put together, right? Always. She always. I mean, I wish she would dress a little better, but that came with age. I promise you, when I was younger, she would dress. Really well, I mean, but she still puts herself together every day. In the morning, she puts herself together. She doesn't walk around in PJs. She doesn't walk around looking a hot mess, like the woman is always put together. Right. And so I did take that to heart. I was like, okay, this is where I need to change. I need to learn to be the person that Miguel originally married. Um, physically at least, or even better, and have the confidence in myself to, like, realize that I'm worth it. Like I'm worth it enough for me go to want to come home to me every day. Yeah, ultimately that's it. It's it's to have enough self-confidence in yourself that in in enough trust right in your partner that you are for each other no matter what. Doesn't matter. You know, um, like, I know your friend Kyle. I know he he lives out of state now, and I think he hasn't been here for a while. But there's a couple of times where he came down and we met him and we went out now and the same thing, you know. I mean, we talked in previous episodes how I have some high school friends, some girls high school friends that we meet every once in a while. I mean, we just had lunch with one of them the other day. Just the three of us. Yeah. And that we meet and we just have a good time. You know, these are people that you met without me. And these are people that I met without you. And now we all can come together and have that trust, right? Have that friendship and and bring them into our inner circle. Right. But I think ultimately that's that's what it comes down to. It's just that communication and have that your self-worth being knowing that it's up there. Right. And that you can trust each other. And and don't get me wrong, there's been a couple of times where some people have tried, right, especially like on social media, like, like, uh, some girls was like, hey, are you a personal trainer? Yes. Can you train me? I'm like, uh, no. You know, I'm like, uh. No. Right. So there's been a couple, right? Which which is fine. Shoot your shot. Right. But it's not going to happen. Um. First of all, how she looked. Yeah. Uh, we have to figure. Figure that out first. My wife has to approve it first. But, uh, you know. But again, it goes back to that, you know, it goes back to that and it goes back to really having that open communication, which is I think that's the hardest part. I know it was for me. Yeah. It's to try to open up and to say, and I know it wasn't easy for you at the beginning to probably hear it, but you got to a point where you're like, hey, this is what it is. And, you know, and the thing about women, we have such gut instincts about if something is going down, you know? And at that time, I just had the gut instinct and I was like, something's not right. So this is not right. You know, it's not adding up. Something's not adding up. Exactly. Like, just be honest with me. And that's all I wanted. And that's and, you know, thankfully, like I said, we it was hard to get through. But I'm so glad that we're at this point now where you don't have to hide anything from. Right. And I'm not saying that that's how it's going to be in all relationships because, yeah, you know, I understand, you know, you cannot go to your wife and say, honey, look who I brought home. Sorry. I'm kidding. Uh, I understand that it's hard for some women to be like me like. And I understand that a lot of women aren't going to understand my point of view when it comes to that, that they maybe they want to be ignorant to it, and that's fine too. But I'd rather it be up front because the last thing I want, like I said, is to be blinded, blindsided by a girl coming up to me saying, oh, I've been having this conversation with your men, and this is where were you? Yeah. Never showed up. Something, you know, something like that. And so the and Michelle tells all the girls that you. Oh, Susie knows about our conversations. I don't want you to think that, you know, I talk behind her back because a lot of times these girls could be like, oh, he's talking to his wife. He's talking to me behind his wife's back. And then the and you, you know, they'll get the wrong idea and they'll think that, oh, Miguel is such a dog. Yeah, a dog, because he's talking to me. But but Miguel tells all of them like Susie knows. Don't worry. Like I'm not having a conversation without, you know, her knowing it's all well. And. And some girls are like, really? Susie knows that you talk to me, you know, like, they get stunned by. Yeah, like, what exactly did you tell her? How much does she know? Yeah. And I promise you, Susie's fine with it, you know? Yeah. You know, and that's the thing, you know, when you have nothing to hide, then. You don't have to. You don't have to hide anything. You know, you could just be open and you could just say it. Um, and I just, I just, I and and again, you know, I, I can sit here today and if you're a guy and you're listening to this, you may be thinking how. Well, I mean, think about how much stuff you're hiding. You know that. Now, if you think about how much stuff you're hiding and think about, how would it be if you didn't have to? How much better would it be for you? And, and and again, there might be a woman listening to this. Like you said, they might not relate to you, but they might listen to what I'm saying right now, which I've heard it too. I've heard women said, oh hell no, my husband would not be that. My husband would not. But yet they're talking to you like that. Their husband, I'm sure, does not know. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's that's so. And the that hence the the the title toxic guy. Right. Uh, because of the fact that they, they would not it would never allow their husband to do certain things that I do because they know that they would flip, but yet they're doing the doing it in a sense, you know, even though it means nothing. The women find themselves in the same position that they cannot go to their men because their men will totally flip out. And so it goes back to the mistrust. It goes back to the miscommunication. It goes back to the low self-esteem. It goes back to, um, you know, and which which is fine. Again, we're not judging. Maybe that's what's going to save their marriage. But the fact that they're not, the fact that they're avoid saying it doesn't make it right. Correct. Because it's like you said, it's the the blind side. Right. When the when it does happen. So yeah. Because sometimes you might see a message come through, you know, like your spouse might see a message come through and be like, who's that at three in the morning. Yeah. And it's just not right. Right. It's not right for either party to do it. Yeah. No. And that's the thing. It's, it's it's hard, you know. And this is why this podcast is intent. Part of the intention of this podcast is to help out couples understand that part about relationship, you know, especially in today's age. Right. Because we are exposed to so much, so much. Everywhere you go, you're exposed to so much everywhere you go. And it's not just one social media channel. I mean, there is multiple correct social media channels where, you know, you you see our eyes are the windows to a bunch of different things and people and at work and out of work and at the gym and out of the gym, you know, there's so much of it right now that you have to learn how to navigate and how to deal with that. There is. This is why couples don't last nowadays. I know well, and I think this is really why we've lasted, and this is why people just can't even come together to become a couple. That's true too. That's why a lot of people can't even be couples, right? This is why there are so many trusts to begin with. Yeah. Why there are so many single men and women out there. Because they they've they've never experienced the not having that right to where always having it in front of their face to where they can make it connect and make it work to where they're going to be open with one another. Or maybe, who knows, maybe there are people out there that do it and just like us and and hats off to them too. I think they have an amazing, you know, dynamic, if that's what they have. Just like us. Yeah. I mean, I love it that we're this way. Yeah, I love it that we've gotten to this point. Yeah. So any last minute, um, tips for people? I, I know what I'm going to say, but any last minute tips you go for? Well, I think from. Okay. So obviously to the men who are listening. Just be open. You know, just reiterate to your wife that they are the one, that they're the ones you chose to be with for the rest of your life. But be open, you know, be open to say, hey, listen, I met this person and they're whatever, right? And or if somebody messaged you and maybe you don't want that person to be messaging you, right? Just let them know. Look at this person. Look what they say. And no, it's not going right. Right. So be open. Have that communication, have that trust. Um, for the women is I mean, it's hard for me to give advice to a woman, right? Like, don't be toxic. I don't I don't I don't know how to say that, but I do know what you said a second ago about raising your self-worth. Regardless of who you're with, regardless whether you're married or not married. And this is why I admire a lot of people who are single, because they just don't settle for low lives, right? Because they know their self-worth. Yeah. And because they know that they're worth more than settling for a Low life. Yeah. And it goes the same way. Like if you're in a marriage and he can't see your self-worth, then it's not worth it. Right. I think a lot of times people try to stick around just to see what would happen. And that's not good either, you know? Right. Like, if someone can't see, like, let's just say there's a track record of cheating, like constant cheating, and let's just say you've had that conversation with your spouse, like, just be upfront with me. And they can't seem to make that change. Then maybe sometimes it's just not good to stick around either. Right. Because if someone can't see your self-worth, um, that you see in yourself. So it's just better to be by yourself. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Right. There's nothing wrong with being proud of who you are proud to be by yourself. And that's it. Because if someone can't see it and they're constantly can't see that you're the one, regardless of how many beautiful women are out there, then you don't need that person. Yeah, there's a reason for it. Right. Not every couple, married or not married, are meant to be together. No. Did. They're just not. And there's nothing wrong. I think a lot of people are like, well, I just need to stick on stick with this person for whatever reason. And I don't understand that and keep things away from me and leave double lives and all these other nonsense that people do. And you know, I it's. Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, the unfaithfulness starts over and over and over again on both ends. Yes. For what? For what? You know, so, like they say, it's not that the person's a bad person. Like either party is just that you're not meant to be together. And there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a lesser person. You're probably both great, wonderful people. But if you're not meant to be together, just not meant to be together, there's no reason to force that. Right? If you come home every day dreading to see your spouse, something is seriously wrong. You know, if you're worried every day to talk to your spouse, then something is seriously wrong. And there's no reason for that. because like I said, if your husband is not your best friend and you can't trust that person with absolutely everything that happens in your life, then there's no reason for you guys to be together. That's just me personally, right? You know, obviously, like I said, everyone's situation is different, and I understand that a lot of people won't see where I'm coming from, but that's okay too. Yeah. No. Absolutely. You know, I mean, obviously we don't want to we don't want to change people. We just want to help people be themselves and be in a better position. Right? You know, if that's not you, that's not you. That's fine. Um, and not everyone's going to agree with what we're saying here, and I'm sure I get that. Yeah. Not everyone's going to agree with how we might live our, our life or the things that we might say, but it doesn't make it that is wrong, you know? It just it just has helped our relationship. And we feel that it would help your relationship if you were just to be more communicative. Communicative is how you say communicative and be more open about the situation. So they're all they're going to be. There doesn't matter. It's not going to go away because, you know, you better stick your head in the sand if you don't want to see it. But yeah, if you like I said, just be happy. Because if you're not happy, yeah, something is wrong. So I guess the question has an answer. Suzy is not not a dog seeker. Thank you guys. We love you. Love you. Have a great day. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Unfiltered Us. 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