Episode 3 - A Little Rough

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest—turns out, they were right. 😅  In this episode, we’re keeping it real about the awkward, hilarious, and sometimes downright frustrating moments of early married life. From epic miscommunications to learning that “I’m fine” never means “I’m fine,” we’re pulling back the curtain on what it’s really like to figure out life together.

🎧 Tune in for the laughs, the lessons, and proof that you can survive the chaos of newlywed life!

💬 Drop your funniest early marriage memory in the comments! #MarriageFails #NewlywedStruggles #CoupleGoals #UnfilteredUs #PodcastLife #MarriageTips

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Susie's Instagram: @sdguzman98

Transcript

Episode 3 - A Little Rough

 You're listening to unfiltered us, where we keep it real and unscripted. I'm your host, Susie, along with my husband, Miguel. Ready to dive in? Let's get started. Okay, well, this is going to be an exciting episode. We're talking about sports today, right? Yes, they're talking about sports. Obviously, where we left off from our last, uh, podcast. Yes. Uh, first of all, I want to say, um, I'm loving all the feedback and support. Right. And one thing that we had talked about, and I don't know if you remember this, but we said we were going to drink on these podcasts, and I brought my tea today. So yeah, I mean, you're not drinking anyways, I can share the tea. I am on 75 hard almost on day 30, so I am not drinking. But I promise once, uh, these 75 days are up, we will definitely be adding maybe some wine. I would like some wine while we talk. Yeah. That's fine. I don't mind. I don't mind wine. Wine is good. I love wine. Maybe we can drink. Maybe we could drink before. Oh, yeah, a little tipsy. Before we start the episode. You know, we did say it was going to be different, so that's true. So let's go back. Hey, I just want to. Before we get into that episode, I just want to say we are on the verge of having our third grandchild. We've been on a a journey for sure. Oh my goodness. A day to day on the last, I don't know, 4 or 5 days. Right. And so for a lot of people that may be, uh, Noah's that don't know us, right? I mean, we're we're getting close to having our third grandbaby here soon, so we're hoping within the next day or two. Yes. It's exciting. Amazing. It's been a lot lately. Yeah. So that's why we were like, we need to record this podcast before this baby comes. Because then once this baby comes, I kind of feel like our schedule will be all over the place. So, yeah, maybe by the time this podcast airs, we will definitely have our third grandchild, right? And we'll do our best to, as you guys have seen, to pose once every Thursday or at least have an episode on every Thursday. Um, that's right. Now, as of right now, that's the intention. So if we, for whatever reason, get busy with, uh, family and business and, uh, everything else in between, then we'll let you guys know. But we do appreciate the the feedback we're getting so far as well, too. Yes, everyone seems to love our story. But now, going back to this cliffhanger that we left last time, obviously we are going. It feels weird to go back, to be honest, because I feel like you're not that person anymore. And we'll talk about that because I feel like you're a complete 180. You know, it's you're not. So it's weird to go back and think about the person that you used to be. And the person I originally married is not the person that you are today. Well, neither one of us are. So no, neither one of us are for sure, because I have definitely come through a lot of. Like I used to be super shy. Like to actually think that I would do a podcast one day without hyperventilating or even just I don't. It's just a completely different person, which obviously you, you know. Right. I was a completely different person before, right? And, uh, going to the beginning of our marriage, how I just thought this just wasn't going to continue. I really thought the first couple years of our marriages that it was just going to end because there was a lot of things in, uh, that would always be brought to my attention, especially by the cousin that did not like you. He was always trying to fill my head with cheating allegations, and then he would go and tell my mom the same thing. So then it obviously made my mom superb set towards you and my mom did not like you, which is crazy to me because when we were. Dating. She actually really, really liked you. Like, really, really liked you. And then once I got pregnant and once my cousin started talking all this stuff, um, she did not like you anymore at all. And I'm pretty sure she would have been happy if the marriage would have ended. And she even accused you at one point to stealing money from her, which a huge scandal in itself, right? And obviously, I didn't believe her because I just, I, I knew you as a person and even though you we were struggling financially, I never knew you of the person to steal money from my mom. It just wasn't possible. And even when I would talk to my dad about it, my dad's like, there's just no way that just didn't happen. Your mom is like, I think, in her way, trying to end the marriage as well. Right? So I don't know if you want to kind of talk about all of that. Well. Allegations. Allegedly. Right. Um, what did they say? Um. Innocent until proven guilty. But there is no proof. And so, you know, I mean, I, I do remember that. I remember thinking back like, man, that's crazy, right? Like all these things that people are doing and saying, um, for whatever reason, you know, and the one thing about me and maybe your cousin going back to that story about me cheating, the one thing about me that I've always been a person that talked to everyone, you know, I talked to a lot of people I have everywhere I go. I know people, you know, in high school. I was good with everybody, you know, and there wasn't one group of people that I was not cool with. You know, I, I have black friends, I have white friends, I have Hispanic friends, I have, you name it, Asian friends, everybody, you know, and even to this day, you you do know. Now, some of my high school friends that I went to high school with that are that are girls that I've been friends for 30 plus years, you know, and we've always just been friends. They're just people that I went to high school with. And so maybe looking back, I think maybe that's what it was. He saw me talking to girls and he thought, ah, he's cheating on my cousin. I don't know, right? Maybe from the point of view that he didn't like me. And, uh, that's the only thing I can think of that what? He would say that or think that. And we didn't go to the same high school. So of course you were not there to see how it was, how you would act during high school, right? So you weren't there to see that. And of course, it's coming to you from a family point of view or family member point of view. And of course, yeah, it did cost a lot of trouble. It did cost a lot of, um, you know, arguments back then, early on. And, uh, of course, your mom believed every single word of it, which is fine. You know, I mean, looking back and like you said it, looking back now, talking about this today, remembering all the stuff that happened back then, it's it's pretty crazy to remember all these stuff. Right. And when regards to your mom, you know, when she, uh, I do remember that that she did come out saying that there was some money that was missing from her purse. And, uh, it happened that, I don't know, I was home that day or that night. I, I honestly don't remember it, the exact details, but I do remember her saying that or accusing me of taking money from her. And, uh, I don't know. I don't know why she would say that, honestly. Uh. I don't know if she misplaced the money. I don't know if whether she did have the money or not. I really don't know. But looking back, I remember me thinking, man, this is crazy, right? And I remember going to my mom, my mom's house one day and telling her all that stuff that happened and she was just quiet. You know, they never really, um, said my mom really never said anything in regards to, well, you know, you should get divorce or, you know, did you do it? She was just listening. It was just quiet. And she was just looking at me. And I think I would start and end the conversation with, I don't know, I think she just, you know, obviously she's crazy, you know, and my mom, not me. Yeah. Not you. And you know what? It's crazy because, you know, it's been at the beginning going back I thought, man, what's what's wrong? Right? I, I didn't know I didn't have obviously you grew up the first 15 years of your life with your mom, and you knew exactly how she is and the things that she says and does, and I didn't, I, I knew her when we were dating, but never lived with her until we started living together. And then when we started living together and she would do and say things like that, I would be like, what's wrong? You know, I seriously thought there was something wrong with with me. But looking back now and. Knowing what we know today with experience from you and your first 15 years of growing up with her and the stories that you've told me and your family members, right? Your sisters and even your dad. I'm looking back. I'm like, okay, I'm glad it wasn't me. Yeah, you know, you're not the crazy one. So I'm not throwing my mother in law under the bus right now. But at the same time that that alone has been a journey. It's, um, definitely love and hate relationship. I mean, she loves you now, for sure. You've definitely proven to her. I hope I'm the favorite now. You know, they got properties, and they're getting up there in the air, so I hope that I'm the favorite now. I mean, I don't know if you're the favorite, but yeah, my my brother will always be the favorite. Yeah. That for sure. That for sure. There's no there's no denying that. Oh you won't go to Mexico though. So that's true. He will. Um, but so let's I just want to bring up to that I meant so like, you're talking about meeting friends that you went to high school with. I actually, not that long ago, started meeting a lot of the people that you went to high school with that I didn't know. Right. And I remember one day we met a high school friend that you have a girl, and you had known her since high school, and I had just met her. I think we're I don't know, maybe like five years now that we before Covid for sure. So yeah. So like maybe six years before Covid. Yes. So I met her and the first thing she told me I remember this distinctly is that, you know, even though me, me girl had been friends, I don't know why we've never met, which was so weird to begin with. But I do remember the first thing she told me was that of all these years I've known Miguel, he's never stepped out of line. Never once has said anything to make me think, oh, this guy wants to cheat on his wife. Nothing. You know? Never. She's. She made it a point to say that. And I think that in itself validates. A lot of what I already knew back then, even though people were trying to fill my ear with something different. And I and I remember that distinctly, that she said, you know, and I think it was because that of, um, just because, you know, guys, people always think when a guy is a friend with the girl, right? That automatically it's just to get in each other's pants and not that that doesn't happen, because I'm sure that happens a lot. Right. But the to refer her to reassure me that you never tried to step out of line with her, that you guys were seriously friends, and that you would give her a lot of advice and that she would go to you when she was having issues with her husband and so forth. But it was never out of line, right? She made it a point to say that to me. And again, that's what I mean to to me, even though I didn't need the reassurance, to me, it was a reassurance that I knew this whole time that yes, you are that person who loves to talk to people. And you just talk to people because there are people. It has nothing to do to step out of line or like to, you know, do me wrong in a sense. Right? Well, I mean, everybody loves me, right? I mean, I don't know. Well, you know, the thing about it is, is obviously, you know, and and we'll go back to the beginning. But thinking about today, you know, we have been involved in a business where you deal with people so much. Right? And you're in the business of helping people become better individuals. Right? Of course, we want them to grow in business and we want them to grow in, um, you know, in all areas of life. I've always said my, my, my mission in life is just to help empower people, become better versions of themselves in every area of life. Better husbands, better wife, better fathers, better sons, better daughters, better, you know, you name it, right? And through social media, you know, we've kept in contact with a lot of people that we might have gone to high school with. And so the things that you post sometimes, or the quotes or the messages or the videos that I've been posting for years now, a lot of the times people do reply back and they say, thank you. I needed that today. Um, and this was awesome. And, you know, and then they almost find me as a someone that they can tell something that they need help with. And so you find yourself kind of helping people that way through, in a sense, through social media. Maybe not meeting them face to face all the time. Or sometimes we do, right? Especially people that we frequently see all the time that we give advice, or they give it advice because we learn from people all the time as well, too. And, uh, that's why people see that there is a true friendship we have. I have a great friend of mine. She's a realtor. I've known her forever, you know, she's, uh, been a great friend of ours. I remember I introduced her to you, and you guys became, like, best friends as well, too. And we've always had a great friendship, you know, professional networking. Uh, we've gone out to eat, uh, we've, you know, we've been to their house, they've been to our house. And it's just a great friendship, you know, they're just friends that we have. And so I can see why, you know, maybe some spouses would think any other way. And, and and I do know that, you know, I can't speak for every man out there, but there are people out there that maybe have, um, which we do know for a fact that there are people out there that maybe do it with other intentions as well. Yes. And then obviously going back to another thing of our marriage, another one, uh, like I said, I it feels so weird for me to talk about this because like I said, you're not that person anymore. So to think of it, I feel like this is all about me today. I mean, you're more than welcome to bring up something if you'd like, but is. For the first. I don't even know how many years it really felt like I was a single mom just because you were there physically? Sometimes. But then it felt like every Friday and Saturday, without a doubt, you would leave. You would leave with your friends. And I remember that I obviously was guy friends. There was another couple. So the guy that would go with you, his girl, would always come to me and be like, what do our God, you know, like, what do our men do? Like, why are they always out? And she could not stand it. My mom couldn't stand it because obviously you we lived with them so she would see it like constantly happening. And then to me it was I. It's not that I hadn't, I don't know, even know how to say it because I obviously did have an issue with you constantly being such a friends guy rather than a family guy. And, and I was so young that I didn't know how to handle it. And then obviously when you have a lot of people feeding you all of this advice, telling you you have to leave them or go follow him, make sure that he's not with some other girls and go do this and go do that. It was a lot of feeling in my head that I did not need, especially as a young mom, right? And I remember I would constantly tell you, you know, like you, you're a dad now because by this time we've had Elisa, this went on for a few years because he had me go after that. Yes. And it was just something that you couldn't get out of. It was just something that you had to do without a doubt. Friday and Saturday night and then to, I remember specific to a story that I was like, like, please be like, let's go out with Alyssa. Let's take her. There is a place called Mount Mia. Uh, that doesn't exist anymore. It was kind of like a miniature golf like arcade type of deal. And I. And I told you, like, please don't go out with your friends tonight. Like, please stay home and take me and your daughter to Malaysia. And you obviously did not want to do it. You wanted to go out with your friends. You. So me and Alyssa ended up going by ourselves. You ended up showing up and I thought, oh my goodness. He listened to me like he actually came and he's going to hang out with his family today. You probably were there an hour. An hour and a half played with us, and then you were like, okay, I gotta go. And you left. And I was so heartbroken because I thought I finally got up. I got him to change. I did my part. And then obviously Sunday mornings when you wouldn't wake up until like three in the afternoon and I'd tell you, like, can you please wake up early? Like, let's go do something with Belize and let's go do a family day. And you would just stay asleep. Um, that changed all of that change when we were introduced to the business that we're now in. And I feel like if that business wouldn't have came into our lives and you started to mature because you saw yourself being a person of influence in this business, I feel like our marriage wouldn't have lasted at all. I feel like we were definitely on a downward spiral. Right. And I thank God every day that that business came into our lives. But, like, do you want to go into that? Yeah. You know, um, we we left off episode two right on on the, uh, the beginning or what was going to be the beginning of of us talking about this. And this whole week, I've just been reflecting on it and thinking about it. And, you know, I don't want to say there's a regret because I really have no regrets in life, but I wish I would have done things different. And you mentioned a couple of things right now that ring a bell. Number one is, you know, you you were young, I was young, right. And the maybe the pressure of the marriage, the pressure of a child at such a young age, the pressure of having your friends. Right, or quote unquote, friends that, you know, we were used to. It was a habit, really was. It was just looking back. It was nothing but a habit of going out Friday and Saturday night. And maybe the not understanding the power of full family at that point yet. And not that I didn't love you guys, because obviously, you know, I never miss any of my my, my kids school stuff. Uh, neither one of them. Anytime they've had anything going on in school, I was always there. Uh, we've never separated in a sense. You know, we were always a family. But it was just that issue of Friday and Saturday night. It was just weird. Weird because I worked. I had, you know, you had a job. I had a job. And, you know, there was a party for families. I was there, right? All of that stuff, anything that a normal family can think of. And so I don't want people to think that I was a dead, that that beat, that, that I was not there, you know, I was there, okay. I was there for you. I was there for her. I loved every single one of you guys. Holidays came with her. Christmas. Uh, whatever. Thanksgiving, Easter, I was there, okay. And it was just that thing about Friday and Saturday night just going out. And so looking back about that Friday and Saturday. It was just a habit, right? It was a habit. It was not a good habit, by the way. Okay. And again, it was just maybe not being fully aware of how much time I was wasting, maybe not being fully aware of my priorities in life at that time. Uh, immaturity for sure. Being young, um, thinking, man, my friends are awesome and I'm gonna hang out with them. And don't get me wrong, we we, man, we just had a great time. You know, we would go cruising on this trip and we would get together at one of their houses, and we were just drink or listen to music. Um, you know, it was it was never anything with ill intentions. It was just the times that we just hung out. And at that time, of course, I was the only one that was married. I was the only one that had a kids. All of them were single. Right? But you know the saying that says if you hang out with a bunch of single people, eventually you would become single, right? And yeah, I do agree, I do. I do feel like that was, you know, uh, a phase of our life that if it would have continued. Who knows, maybe a few months after that, a few years after that, maybe we would have never been together. You know, it wasn't until, like we mentioned before that we were introduced to the business that we're in right now, that I started realizing, like, okay, I gotta value my family more. You know, I gotta make sure I'm up early on the weekends, make sure that I'm, um, you know, investing as much time as I can with my family. And this is, what, 23 years ago, right? That we started in this business. And ever since then, you guys have been my number one priority. You know, it's, uh, it's. If I'm not with you, I'm with my son. If I'm not with my son, I'm with my grandkids. If I'm not with my grandkids, I am with somebody from the family. You know, it's very rare that I go out by myself now. Yeah, now it's the complete opposite. I'm like, babe, you need my friends. Like you need to go out now. I want you to go out. And you know, I'm like, I'm cool. Like, I don't need to go out. I just want it, you know? And like I said, if it's not with you or going to dinner or whatever, right. Or friends. um. Now all my girlfriends are your friends. Yes I did. Hanging out with girls now, like, that's that's my life now. You all need somebody to watch out for you guys, which I'm all. I'm all for it. But, um, you know, that's me now, you know? And so looking back is a chapter of life. A face of life that. Yeah, maybe I'm not proud of. And again, I don't really regret anything in life because I think maybe that ended up bringing us closer later on, or I really do enjoy and value the time that we have right now, but I'm just glad that it came and went and maybe it wasn't pleasant for you or, you know, for a lot of people. But at the same time, I'm very proud and I'm very happy to say that that just came and went. Yeah. Even at least, like I said, our daughter makes fun and she goes, how do you even know that? Like, you weren't even there for the first few years of my life. Like it's just a joke now. And so we laugh at it. I love my kids. I know she she always brings that up. Like, how do you even know? Dad, you weren't even here. You you know, they're you know, it's funny that you say this because looking back, I, I put myself in your position and. I think, man, how did she. Why did she stick around? You know why. How did she put up with it? Because I know most women wouldn't. Right, right. How did you do it? I don't again, maybe it was like the naive thing because I was so young. Like, I was naive into thinking that, you know, I could be a teenage mom without a problem. And that was hard in itself. And then I thought, well, you know, my parents, they sometimes don't get along the greatest, but they stay together. So I thought, okay, that's just the way it is, like some marriages are meant to be, maybe like not agree. And they just stay together, you know, and then not that that's a good thing, because sometimes you have to realize that the marriage has ended and but I, I just I didn't, you know, and everybody's situation is so different. But I just didn't see it as you were gonna always be that person. I, you know, you always think you're going to change that person. And I don't want to cry. Because I think back and I think, guys, I was naive, but I'm glad I was because our lives are so great now, and it's all because we were both strong in different ways. And I don't know if that makes sense, but I mean, I was strong and staying there and you were strong and just making sure you changed. Right. And so. Well, there is there is a few there's a few times in our marriage, there's a few times in our journey that we've been together so far that we've gone through challenges. You know, I think every marriages, every marriage goes through challenges. And I think a lot of people today, whether it's a husband or the wife or, you know, it doesn't matter if you're a same sex partner. Um, you know, they throw in the towel so fast, you know, and, and we've gone through things that are so big. And sometimes when we get couples that come up to us and they say minor little things like, oh, this person did, uh, this person did that with and all of a sudden they want to just throw in the towel and get the divorce. And we're like, man, that's nothing. You know? That's really nothing. What do you mean? He didn't wash the dishes? What do you mean he forgot to she forgot to put the laundry away. You know, they're minor things. Um, and not specifically that. But I'm saying minor things. Compared to what? Some of the bigger issues that maybe you and I have gone through. Right? You know, where there is a partnership, where there is financially, which we've had our struggles on that as well too. Um, you know, and so I think that's, you know, we we were holding on to each other. Um and continue to move forward and and we it's it's it's it literally is just turning the page on that chapter, you know, and starting a new chapter. And I think that's what makes it so amazing that you can go through that and come out, you know, and then look back and say, wow, that, that that shit was crazy. Yeah. And that's why when I feel like people go through stuff and they play such a victim, I'm like, I never did. Like I never no matter how hard it was because we were struggling financially, like so, so bad. Yeah. On top of everything else that I just never let it. And I think that's why I even tattooed optimistic on my body, because I'm such an optimistic person and I don't know if that's always such, if that's always such a great thing. I'm always feel like, thank God I'm this way, because I always, always see the silver lining in the sense, right? And that's just me. Like, even to this day, I never, never think that anything bad is coming out of it. I always think something good is coming out of this. I just haven't seen it yet. And that's I'm just blessed that way. I mean, my it's funny because my mom and it's weird because this has come become somehow my mom's up so but my mom says, how are you like that? Like, why are you like that? Like you. Nothing bothers you. And. But it's so amazing that nothing bothers me. I love that about myself. Like, I think that is my most greatest quality. And I know a lot of people probably don't appreciate someone like me, and maybe they're distinct, like, well, you be such an optimistic person when everything seems to be crashing out around you. The people that wouldn't appreciate you are just the negative. Don't disillusion people you know? Because I know there's times where we're all humans, right? And we all think of sometimes of the worst. Uh, not the worst, but like, man, what if this happen? And what if that happens and it's not a positive outcome and you're there to reflect on the opposite of that throughout our whole entire, you know, marriage that has helped me tremendously. And we, in a sense, learn from that. You know, we've learned from it. We've learned from that optimism. We learn from people like you to be optimist on how to look at a situation and say, well, something positive is going to come out of this, you know? And so in a sense, yeah, the there might be someone that might be listening that, you know, maybe it doesn't like that you are that way, but that I think that's actually a plus, because we need more people like that in the world that are like that. And you've always been like that, which is amazing because that's the same way my mom was. You know, she was the exact same way. She was like, hey, don't worry about it. You know, we'll be we'll be good. Yeah, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine. And I'll be like, well, wait, you don't know. Don't don't even worry about it. We'll be just fine. Just don't worry about it. You know that that was me growing up. That was her attitude. And so that's why I feel it was destiny that you and I got together. Because you picked up right where she left off. Or, in a sense, for a long period of time, you know, to have the pleasure to have the both of you at the same time. While she was alive, it was just even, you know, a better deal. Yeah. And then I remember that, um, we purchased our first home, right. And when we purchase our first home, we decided to. This is a good story. We decided to, um, not rent. At that time, we were renting apartments, just you and I, an LLC. And we decided that, um, in order to save money to purchase this house, we couldn't afford rent. We didn't. We wanted the rent money to go into our savings so that we could have the money to purchase the house, so. Right. But we decided, especially because my mom did not did not like you. This, we decided that I would go live with my mom and that you would go live with your mom. And the reason why I didn't go with your mom is because your mom lived with your sister. And it just a week they couldn't add three more people in. She had a just, uh, an addition to my sister's house, and it was just a one bedroom. So they have a person there, which is me. Great. But to have a whole family with the wife and the child, it just was too little of a space for three more people. And so we decided to do that. We did it for I don't even know how many months. I want to say it's close to a year, probably close to a year. And so of course we started. We did it. I remember we purchased our house and they told us that it wouldn't be ready for a year. And so we decided to not renew our lease on our apartment. You moved in with your mom? I moved in with my mom, and Lisa was going back and forth. Uh, she would stay with me for a few days, and then she would go back with you for a few days, and we did that. Our house got delivered December of 2000. So I want to say probably January or February of 2000. And when we did this, um. Right. Yeah, I want to I want to see that too. And so so decided to. Yeah. Do that. And of course, here comes all the other critics, all the people that were saying that we would not that we would not make it from episode one or episode two, I don't know, but all the people that said that it would not last here, they were coming to us or coming to my mom. Especially saying, what? Because they would see you at your mom's house and you were there with Elisa and I wasn't around. Yes. And it had been a few months now. So of course is automatically they're going to think that we weren't together anymore. Right. They would. So of course they was just like, see, we knew it. We knew. And so my mom would defend us because she obviously knew the truth about how we were. We did this to in order to be able to have enough money to purchase our first home. Right. And so she would be like, no, he's he's still around. They, uh, they just decided to I, you know, like, I in a sense, she knew she didn't want me to go here and that I couldn't be over there. And so they then of course, she'd be like, okay, it's fine. It's it's they're fine. Like they're still together. They're just purchasing their first home. Right. And, and I remember that summer, that July and August, I mean, because, you know, it took a toll right? After a few months, it was like, man, we can't wait. But we knew there was a little bit of a trade off. You're right. It was a trade off of not leaving together for whatever, 11 months in order for us to save enough money so we could move into our new house and have enough for the down payment and, you know, enough to furnish the house or, you know, the things that you do when you purchase a first home. But we knew it was going to be a trade off. But I remember taking a toll. And throughout this summer I remember we would go to Laughlin, remember, and we would get rooms in Laughlin and we would go for the weekend. I would go pick you up in the baby and we would drive to Laughlin and stay there Friday, Saturday, come back Sunday. And we did that. We went to California, I think one time. Yeah. Um, maybe we might have done a staycation here, I don't know, but we would do that every so often because we just, you know, we missed each other. We missed each other. No. You know, we wouldn't see a lot of it was something different about you being with us. Right. And then it got to the point where Lisa was like, well, who am I staying with today? And I'd have to tell her, like, whoever you want, baby, you want to stay with daddy, you want to stay with mommy. And so it was taking a toll on her too, because I would see it on her. Like I have to choose who am I staying with, right. And it was hard on her and I knew that man. It was just coming. It was coming, it was coming. But it was totally taking a toll on me mentally, even though I was a really strong person. That at one point I almost took my life. I almost, I remember telling me, go like this, I can't, I can't anymore. I miss you too much. Like, I know we want to purchase our first home, but the fact that I'm not seeing you every day isn't working out like I need to see you. These staycations aren't working. These. Even though I was a super, super positive person for some reason, it was taking a huge toll on me where I lost a ton of weight. I was my clothes wasn't fitting on me. My mom was worried about me and I remember telling you that that's it. I don't I don't want to be alive anymore. But. And you were worried and so you'd always tell me, sisters, please make sure you look over her. Make sure you look over her, because I'm not there to look over her. And, um, they told me. They told me afterwards, obviously, when all of this was said and done, that you would call them and tell them, like, you need to look over your sister, you need to look over you. Make sure that you're always seeing her. Make sure that she's not doing anything stupid. Thank God. Obviously that did not happen and we did get into our first home and it just seemed like a sigh of relief, like a sigh of relief that we were finally all together again. And I don't know if you obviously you remember that, but yeah, I mean, I had forgotten about it, to be honest. Um, and that those are things that, you know, that people go through in life and you almost want to forget, you know, and you do forget. You end up forgetting because they just become irrelevant. You know, going back to what we talked about on the last episode and the probably the first two episodes on how you're going to go through things. Right. Um, and you're going to not know what you're going through, but then you'll come out of it, you know, and it will be better. It would be ten times better. And I do remember that, honestly, I had forgotten about it. But, you know, those are things that came and went and those are things that the little you would call a sacrifice in a sense, a lot of people call them sacrifice. I, I don't like that word. I usually use the word trade off because it's really what it was. Right? It's trading off a little bit today to have a lot more tomorrow. And that's just, um, the, the, the one of the best parts about life. You know, you trade off a little bit to get a lot more. And, uh, yeah, I do remember that. I do remember, you know, obviously asking your sisters for that. But thank God time flew by and we moved into our house and you got pregnant. And then, you know, we had to begin, come on, a few months after that. And so we were just waiting for that house, you know? Yes, we ended up living there for years, and we ended up making a lot of great friends that we. Right, right. To this day. Right. Um, they're they're phenomenal people. Right. And I remember we were we had the kids the same age. So they had a son who was the same age as Leslie said. And she got pregnant the exact same time I got pregnant. So our sons, she ended up having a son are the same age as well. So they grew up through school together even, and where we even registered Miguelito and her son at the exact same time at the same school, obviously, because we were neighbors and they're just phenomenal people. And so shout out to all of our neighbors from our first house, Gloria Rice Court on the East Side. But you know what I think? Um. The takeaway from this episode today is really the the trade offs, you know, the trade offs that you have to endure and the trade offs that you have to go through. Obviously, with me in that phase of going out Friday and Saturdays and us not being together for all those months and taking a toll on you and, um, us being able to go through it because most couples would not go through that. You know, I guarantee you people that are going to listen to this are going to say, man, that's that's just crazy. I would never I would never, you know, I would never go through that. I'll never put up with him doing this. I would never put up with her doing that, or I would never separate from my wife for nine months. And who knows what she's going to do? And I would never let my husband go, you know, for nine months or ten months or 11, whatever, whatever, however months it was and, and do that. But looking back, that's part of our crazy story. That's part of the that's why you said they should write a book about us. I agree, I still I still agree if they're listening, you want to write a book, I can tell you more details that we're not going to put on this free podcast. But, um, yeah, that was that was um, episode three. That was episode three. Um, I didn't expect to cry this much. Obviously, it brings up all the emotions that it's unfiltered. It's unfiltered. You know, we did say we we weren't gonna, you know, hold back. And sometimes they're going to be funny and sometimes they're going to be like this. And, uh, you know, I'll probably go cry after this, but, uh, that was episode three. Until next time. We love you guys. We love you guys. Bye bye. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Unfiltered Us. If you enjoy this conversation, don't forget to hit that follow button so you never miss an episode. We'd love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment and join in the conversation. If you think someone else will enjoy today's chat, go ahead and share this episode with them. Your support means the world to us. Until next time, stay real and stay unfiltered.